Hope for the future

For the last five years my family has been dealing with a life you would never wish on your children. A life stunted by a life threatening illness. My children are who they are because of the changes in our lives from end stage renal failure, kidney disease. Everything in our lives has changed since Dale started dialysis five years ago.

When Dale was first diagnosed that his transplanted kidney (from when he was 18) was failing, we were active members of a church where we had a big network of friends and we both had full time jobs. Shortly down that road, Dale wasn't well and the friends stopped being there for us, so the church was hard to go to. Dale couldn't work anymore, so we made do for awhile before I got a second job. We worked hard to keep things normal for our kids and I think we did alright. Dale had ups and downs and really downs. I went from two jobs, to one job and now to only a casual job. But we've made it through.

In December I decided to be tested to see if I'm a match for Dale. I didn't want to tell anyone and hadn't told anyone up until a few days ago (even though Dale was telling family). I felt and still do feel really apprehensive about the whole situation. I'm not one for being sick or getting poked! Funny that I married the guy who gets poked more than anyone I've ever met! I've had the tests done and sent off my paperwork to be reviewed. Now we wait. At least that's something I'm used to.

I wanted to tell all of this here, not to make anyone feel bad but to speak the hope I have for the future of my family. I look forward to a kidney that will tie Dale and I together more than we already are. He is my world and I couldn't imagine one without him in it. So I look forward to days where he can get up in the morning full of energy and excitement for the day. Days where we don't plan our schedule around a machine with bags of dialysis solution and keeping things mellow so he doesn't tire out. A future where he can work and support his family. Where we can pay all our bills and still go do stuff.

I don't want a lot. Just enough. Just a future to explore with the ones I love the most. Here's hoping my extra kidney will be enough.